“…she saw there was something special about him and hid him. She hid him for three months. When she couldn’t hide him any longer she got a little basket-boat made of papyrus, waterproofed it with tar and pitch, and placed the child in it. Then she set it afloat in the reeds at the edge of the Nile.”  Exodus 2:1-3

I’ve recently heard some messages on the topic of Moses.  I know that normally doesn’t scream motherhood, but I heard the speaker interestingly talk about Moses’ mother and her courage to save her son….and how he believed that investment led to a strength within him years later.  It’s given me some new perspective.

Recently, I have realized more and more how much I had been struggling with motherhood over the past few years.  As much as I love my children and willing to do anything for them, I have daily struggled with all that is required.  I always chalked it up to starting later in life so being set in my ways.  I even thought that it was because we move so often, are away from family as well as with all of the time apart and deployments.  I even thought at times that it was because I was the first person in my family to obtain an academic degree so feel that I should expect “more” out of myself career wise.  And one of the “best” reasons I thought was because I was overwhelmingly aware of the responsibility of being a parent….how noble.  All logical reasons I guess.

But when I heard the message about Moses’ mother’s sacrifice and desire to go against the culture, I was inspired on what future greatness can become in my decisions even though our American culture does not always value motherhood.  I worked for a CEO who felt mothers were causing a decrease in the quality of a driven workforce supporting capitalism and as a result, economic decline in our culture.  So I have answered the questions so often from my past business counterparts of “So what are you doing now”, “Are you doing anything with your time yet”, “What are your plans”, etc.  They don’t value what I’ve been doing the past 3 ½ years.

My mom is here visiting for the month and it’s been awesome to share how I feel with her in person.  She shared many words of wisdom and has helped me connect how everything I’ve accomplished and all that has been invested in me is working to develop and lead the children…..that everything counts and nothing is for naught.  My husband has been so complimentary and encouraging as well by his words, his prayers, his support through Skype and his letters.  And he is so good about making time with me, the children, reading to them and staying in contact with their school, etc.   And he and I both know that parenthood is God’s plan of teaching relationships, sacrifice, grace, mercy and all the other lessons we need in life as well as preparing future generations.  Really, what other species is so physical and emotionally dependent as long as humans?

The book study I’m hosting, Lioness Arising has been so fantastic in meeting and growing with other women, many of whom mothers.  But their stories, their struggles especially in respect to their teenage and older children has led me to feel that I’ve have just seen the tip of the iceberg when it comes to challenges in motherhood so I need to get better my act together sooner rather than later if I’m going to have a strong foundation to withstand what the future may hold and to press forward on what is needed.  Even though I know that every person has their bad days and every mother struggles at times, I still knew that none of my “reasons” truly gave place for my feelings.

But it was especially when I heard the speaker discuss how the greatest miracle is being able to “defy oneself in order to do good for another” that really sparked me.  Even though I had heard that often, it somehow made more of a difference for me that day.  All of my good reasons didn’t seem so valid anymore….it was just plain old selfishness!  Wow, that didn’t sound as good as my other reasons!  I know I will have tough times, but I am getting a new perspective.  So I now have a sign in my room that says, “Whose life am I making better and why?”

So in addition to our communal Daniel’s Fast (21 days of fruits/veggies/grains)reasons for the city, our nation and all respective leadership, I have my personal objectives to grow in this area of my life.  So day 6 is going pretty good!

I truly believe in the philosophy that it “takes a village to raise a child” and I am so grateful that I have wonderful friends and family to not see through me, but to see me through!  I thank God for my village and for all those around me who are amazing examples and encouraging me to step out of comfort and be better!